When I urge parents, educators, and community members to step up to become a mentor for a young person, my request is sometimes met with, “I can’t…” Though you may have reasons not to mentor, today I want to share reasons you can (and should) mentor someone. It just takes a fresh perspective on the usual “I can’t…” excuses to turn them into “I can!”
I can’t… I’m not ready to be a mentor.
You may feel like you just don’t know enough be a mentor. Or maybe you feel as if you need to achieve a certain level of success before you can mentor someone else. If so, you may be working under the false assumption that you need to know everything (or you need to have a “perfect” life) to give advice to others. In reality, you’re steps ahead of someone and have valuable insights and experience to share. Remember, even if you’re only one step ahead of your mentee, that’s okay. It’s never too early to mentor.
I can’t… I won’t make a good mentor.
It’s true. Not all people make good mentors, at least at first blush. This is when you must expand your definition of a mentor. Mentors take on many roles: teachers, advocates, and advisers – just to name a few. While you may not have the patience to teach others, you may be well suited to champion a person’s potential or offer periodic advice. Don’t feel you must fulfill every aspect of a mentoring relationship. Start small and do what you can. Over time, the relationship can evolve and more can be added down the road – if it feels right.
I can’t… I don’t have time to mentor.
Your life is already full. Every day you juggle demands at work and at home. It’s hard to imagine having time for another responsibility like mentoring. But mentoring needn’t be a formal process where you meet face-to-face. In fact, some of the best mentoring relationships take place casually and in creative ways. For example, if you’re mentoring a young adult, you might maintain a text-to-text mentoring relationship and meet quarterly for lunch.
I can’t… There isn’t anyone for me to mentor.
Young people today are hungry for someone to guide them, teach them, and support them. Make a conscious effort to seek them out. You can reach out to your personal network, or get in touch with a variety of non-profit organizations that are actively seeking volunteer mentors. Some organizations to consider are: Big Brothers Big Sisters and Boys and Girls Club of America. Or check out Volunteer Match, an organization that helps match your interests to a volunteer opportunity, like mentoring.
I can’t… I’ll end up giving more than I receive.
Unhealthy mentoring relationships can feel burdensome, leaving mentors feeling depleted and used. Neither party should feel exploited in a mentoring relationship. That’s why it’s important to establish clear boundaries from the onset. When you do, you’ll find the payoffs of mentoring to be well worth your efforts. Mentoring not only gives you a sense of contribution and purpose, it also creates greater confidence in your own career and life when you see the positive impact you have on others.
With a new perspective, you’ll find that a mentoring relationship can benefit both you and your protégée. You’ll impart wisdom on others and gain new insights for yourself. Being a mentor is definitely a win-win situation that you can do.
