Last month, I wrote about change and offered five steps to help you manage it. One of those steps involve tapping into your support network. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand the importance of having a network until it’s too late.
Society encourages you to be strong, independent and self-sufficient. You needn’t rely on anyone because you can do it all. This is a trap. Everyone needs support — at the height of success and in the pit of failure. Everyone needs a network.
I didn’t realize it until much later in life, but I started building my network when I was in first grade. That was the year I first met my teacher, Mrs. Kaufman. At the time, she was the smartest person I ever met. It made me feel good to know that a young, pretty woman could be so smart. She was unlike any woman I’d ever met, and best of all, she took an interest in me.
Mrs. Kaufman praised me and encouraged me. She saw me – the me that was locked deep beneath the shabby, homemade clothes and patched up shoes that others ridiculed. Through her kindness and gentleness, I realized my own value and worth.
Mrs. Kaufman was my support during a time when I needed it the most. When I reflect on my career and life, I can recall many people — then and now –who supported me through my successes and failures. Each one of them is a priceless, necessary part of my journey.
Some of you may be reading this thinking, “That’s great, but there are no Mrs. Kaufman’s in my life.” I want to encourage you. Everyone has a network. It may be 10,000 names deep or fewer than five people.
Regardless of size, you can develop a support network and you must to achieve your turnaround. Here’s how:
1. Connect with purpose. Networking is not a numbers game. It’s about quality over quantity. Your goal isn’t to fill your address book with as many names as possible. Instead, be intentional. Seek out people who are moving in the direction you want to go.
2. Identify people you know (or know of). Look around and identify the most successful people in your school, work or life. These people can become your team of unspoken role models - people who you aspire to be, but may not personally know (yet).
3. Reach out and connect. Find a way to connect personally with the people you’ve identified. You might be introduced through a mutual connection, but most people are willing to help if you approach them the right way. For example, “I really admire your work. I’m working toward something similar. Can you recommend a book, training program or resource that might help me move forward in my career?”
4. Don’t be a pest! Once you’ve reached out to people, avoid taking up too much of their time with your needs. People are willing to help, but they are also quick to realize when a person is taking too much of their time. Much like tending a garden, allow relationships to develop and grow little by little over time. Then, enjoy the fruits of your patient effort.
5. Be a go-giver. There’s a commonly known acronym — WIIFM, or What’s in it for me? Sadly, too many people have this attitude when networking. Society encourages you to be a “go-getter,” but I suggest being a go-giver. If you’re not sure what you can give, just ask. Seek to give first and you’ll notice your network flourish.
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