I often tell the story of Mrs. Kaufman because she played such a pivotal role in my turnaround.
I first met Mrs. Kaufman when I was six years old. Living in an impoverished and hopeless situation, I was often the center of ridicule among my classmates at school, “Hey Johnson, where’d you get that dress? Salvation Army? Danita, are those your granddaddy’s shoes?” I was unhappy and afraid.
Among a classroom of 30 students, I could have easily been lost in the crowd. After all, every student had needs. I wasn’t that special. How could one teacher touch every child in a way that matters?
Somehow, Mrs. Kaufman found a way.
With a simple request she changed my life, “Danita I’d like for you to stay after school some days and be my assistant. In fact, I’d like for you to grade papers for me. Do you think you could do that?”
Whoa! Someone noticed me! Someone paid attention! I was no longer an invisible statistic. I was Danita Johnson and I was going to be Mrs. Kaufman’s assistant!
My experience with Mrs. Kaufman was the first time in my life I was noticed. It was the first time someone paid attention to me in a way that made me feel valuable and worthy. Instead of assuming I was worthless like so many had in the past, she looked beyond my present circumstances and somehow saw a positive future.
And I wasn’t the only one she noticed. When I reflect back on that period in my life, I recall how she paid attention to many of her students – spending extra time to help a student with handwriting or math problems. Although I can’t be certain, I’ll bet there are other adults telling their own Mrs. Kaufman stories today.
Mrs. Kaufman wasn’t just a teacher, she was a life changer. We need more Mrs. Kaufmans.
Too many people walk through life with blinders on. They allow the busyness of life to narrow their focus to only their needs, wants and desires. Today’s “me culture” has divided communities and worse … it’s allowed the potential of those trapped in desperate circumstances to fade away into a dreary statistic.
Open your eyes. Pay attention to what’s going on around you – even the seemingly insignificant. Then, choose to take action.
I’m not suggesting you become a social activist. However, I am suggesting that you become attuned to the world outside of your own. Notice others and your affect on them. Even the slightest action, like noticing someone as Mrs. Kaufman did me, has influence. You are a ripple that has the power to change communities and this world.
But it all starts with opening your eyes.
For many years, I’ve led a life of service and I’m a happier person because of it. So when I came across this Martin Luther King Jr quote, it resonated with me:
“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you know my story. My early childhood wasn’t idyllic, though I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It is because of my upbringing that I’ve learned the importance of giving and contributing to the lives of others. It’s why I’m so passionate about the topic of mentoring and creating your turnaround.
In today’s economic climate, there are masses of people seeking a turnaround. Lives have been ruined by financial circumstances that have created challenges that many struggle to overcome. As a result, happiness is declining.
I haven’t embarked on a formal study of happiness, so this is just my observation. When I walk into the grocery store, I see more grumbling faces than smiles. On the way to work, I notice the white-knuckle grip of commuters so wound up in stress that they use their vehicles to exert power, even if it’s just to be first at a stop light – at least they can be ahead of someone.
I understand how they feel. I’ve lived through up times and down times. Through it all, I’ve experienced happiness. Though, I haven’t intentionally sought happiness. It’s been a by product of my attitude.
Instead of seeing the lack in a situation, I seek out the opportunities. Rather than dwell on what’s wrong, I affirm what is right. I recognize that life isn’t all about me, it’s about others and what we can achieve collectively. These are the perspectives that have helped me experience happiness through any circumstance.
I confess. When I’m neck deep in a difficult situation, it’s hard to quell my negative desires and thoughts. It’s taken years of conscious effort and “mind training” to choose differently. Sometimes I fail. But most times, I succeed in maintaining an attitude that makes a situation better, not worse.
You can create your own attitude of happiness too. It takes practice and consistent effort, but it’s definitely possible and it starts with something very simple: Change what you feed your mind.
When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you feed your mind? Is it the morning news? Is it the worry of what the day will bring? Most people start their day with dreadful news, whether it comes from the media or internal thoughts. Choose differently.
Tomorrow when you wake up try this:
- Think of 5 things you appreciate and quietly say, “Thank you for…” Starting with a perspective of gratitude for what you already have (even though it may not be perfect) trains your mind to see the good in your life.
- Next, think of your #1 goal and decide on 2-3 actions – big or small – you’ll take to move you forward on that goal.
- Finally, spend 20 minutes reading something inspirational or motivating. Avoid the morning news or tabloid papers. Find a book, blog, or other resource that is positive and instructional.
Happiness is a choice based in your attitude. When life is spinning out of control, your attitude is the one thing I guarantee you can control. So take the reigns and go after the happiness you desire!
